In and Out

My girlfriend and I were making love recently and I accidentally slipped inside of her. The tip of my penis pressed against her cervix. Now, a week later, I'm worried as hell as to how much semen there is in the lubricating fluid that comes from the male penis and what the chances are of getting her pregnant from such an act. I've always been a foreplay, play it safe, cunnilingus kind of guy. I'll damned sure be using a condom no matter what from now on, but before now vaginal penetration had never been an option, let alone a problem.

Any information at all would be REALLY, REALLY helpful, even if negative. Or, if nothing else, a place to find answers. Thank you.

—nonewsisbadnews

Penetration has never been an option, eh? I wonder how many of us have gotten our cherries popped from it "accidentally-on-purpose" slipping in during "foreplay."

So, what are the chances of getting with child by the sperm in pre-cum? Let's begin to answer that question by revisiting Reproduction 101. (Unless you went to elementary school in the Bible Belt, this should be a review.) Ovulation occurs on roughly the fourteenth day before menstruation. The newly released egg wends it merry way down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it hangs out until the next period begins, at which time it is shed with the uterine lining. Considering that conception normally occurs in the fallopian tube and that the egg's passage takes around one day, not to mention that stress-induced hormonal fluctuations can cause ovulation to be missed some months altogether, it seems a wonder women ever get pregnant at all. Yes, you read that correctly: there is a one day window per month for conception. It is also notable that, whilst only one sperm gets the glory, many millions of his comrades fall before him in the process of breaking down the wall of the egg. The vaginal Ph, thickness of cervical mucus, sperm health and motility, and a variety of delicate hormonal transactions are all factors that can impede conception. Less than half of couples trying to conceive succeed within the first 6 months of trying. It makes you wonder how often those welfare moms must be getting' it on.

Before everyone flings their diaphragms out the window in joy, there are some sobering facts I must add. First and most significantly, sperm can live for a week inside a woman's hospitable reproductive organs. They can do a casual backstroke up the fallopian tubes and hang out with their homies for up to seven days, waiting for Ms Egg to make her appearance. Also keep in mind that fourteen days is an average, which assumes a perfect 28-day menstrual cycle. A given women may ovulate anywhere from twelve to eighteen days into her cycle. She can also release multiple eggs in one month (hello, fraternal twins). There are other variables I could add, but you get the idea.

The limited number of sperm in pre-cum makes it extremely unlikely that conception would occur, even if your dribbling was within the fertile window. The problem with the pull-out-and-pray method of contraception is not so much the pre-cum but the inability of Mr. Dickhead to get far enough away from the vaginal opening before loosing his load.

Remember, you have to fly straight down the trench to get the photon torpedo into the thermal exhaust port. If you pull out like Wedge, e-mail inandout@corporatemofo.com

In and Out is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed sex therapists or certified psychological care providers in any way, shape, or form—not that you should believe those bozos, anyway. We are, however, much more amusing.

Posted December 1, 2002 5:00 PM


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			In and Out by Mistress Rowena
			My girlfriend and I were making love recently and I accidentally slipped inside of her. The tip of my penis pressed against her cervix. Now, a week later, I'm worried as hell as to how much semen there is in the lubricating fluid that comes from the male penis and what the chances are of getting her pregnant from such an act. I've always been a foreplay, play it safe, cunnilingus kind of guy. I'll damned sure be using a condom no matter what from now on, but before now vaginal penetration had never been an option, let alone a problem. Any information at all would be REALLY, REALLY helpful, even if negative. Or, if nothing else, a place to find answers. Thank you. —nonewsisbadnews Penetration has never been an option, eh? I wonder how many of us have gotten our cherries popped from it "accidentally-on-purpose" slipping in during "foreplay." So, what are the chances of getting with child by the sperm in pre-cum? Let's begin to answer that question by revisiting Reproduction 101. (Unless you went to elementary school in the Bible Belt, this should be a review.) Ovulation occurs on roughly the fourteenth day before menstruation. The newly released egg wends it merry way down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it hangs out until the next period begins, at which time it is shed with the uterine lining. Considering that conception normally occurs in the fallopian tube and that the egg's passage takes around one day, not to mention that stress-induced hormonal fluctuations can cause ovulation to be missed some months altogether, it seems a wonder women ever get pregnant at all. Yes, you read that correctly: there is a one day window per month for conception. It is also notable that, whilst only one sperm gets the glory, many millions of his comrades fall before him in the process of breaking down the wall of the egg. The vaginal Ph, thickness of cervical mucus, sperm health and motility, and a variety of delicate hormonal transactions are all factors that can impede conception. Less than half of couples trying to conceive succeed within the first 6 months of trying. It makes you wonder how often those welfare moms must be getting' it on. Before everyone flings their diaphragms out the window in joy, there are some sobering facts I must add. First and most significantly, sperm can live for a week inside a woman's hospitable reproductive organs. They can do a casual backstroke up the fallopian tubes and hang out with their homies for up to seven days, waiting for Ms Egg to make her appearance. Also keep in mind that fourteen days is an average, which assumes a perfect 28-day menstrual cycle. A given women may ovulate anywhere from twelve to eighteen days into her cycle. She can also release multiple eggs in one month (hello, fraternal twins). There are other variables I could add, but you get the idea. The limited number of sperm in pre-cum makes it extremely unlikely that conception would occur, even if your dribbling was within the fertile window. The problem with the pull-out-and-pray method of contraception is not so much the pre-cum but the inability of Mr. Dickhead to get far enough away from the vaginal opening before loosing his load. Remember, you have to fly straight down the trench to get the photon torpedo into the thermal exhaust port. If you pull out like Wedge, e-mail inandout@corporatemofo.com In and Out is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed sex therapists or certified psychological care providers in any way, shape, or form—not that you should believe those bozos, anyway. We are, however, much more amusing. Posted December 1, 2002 5:00 PM Backtalk Name: Email Address: Comments:
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