Sex and Other

Drugs and
Rock 'n' Roll

Media and

Society (and

Politics and Other


Casual Fridays

Rantings and

In and Out:
Sex Advice from our Staff Dominatrix

Employee of the



Who We Are

Write for Us!

Invest in Anti-

Play Our Theme Song
by Simon Inns
(MP3 format; 1.5 MB download)

Donate to the Cause!

A man without a mission


Odd Todd: The Corporate Mofo Interview


by Ken Mondschein



It is a dark time for the economy. Under the mismanagement of the shadowy Business Leaders of America, millions have lost their means of livelihood. Trapped by their own work ethic, the masses huddle in benighted ignorance, blaming themselves for their financial woes. Skilled Javascript programmers gather on street corners next to illegal immigrant day laborers, holding signs that read, "Will code for food." Those who once constructed mighty electronic temples for the titans of the dot-conomy scrounge for crumbs in the desolate wilderness of slightly-used Aeron chairs. Others, less suited to survive, take the most desperate of actions: moving back in with Mom.

Yet, one man chose not to yield. Striking out from his West Village fortress of solitude, armed only with a primitive Flash animation, one man has served as a beacon to truth, justice, and slacking. His fame was carried seemingly on the wind, spread by whispered word of mouth, by the ethereal networks of e-mail, and in print by a whole lot of bemused journalists. Astounded, the people flocked to his site, there to learn their new credo: Laziness is bliss.

And the name of this new savior?

Odd Todd


Corporate Mofo: Millions are asking: "What's with this Odd Todd guy?" Why do you think your Web site is so popular?

Odd Todd: Um. Not really sure actually. I think cause it's nice to know someone else who is laid-off is sitting at home too. Sort of holding hands in cyberspace while we weather the economic storm.

CM: How, exactly, are you odd? Please be specific, and include Polaroids, if possible.

OT: No Polaroids. Not sure how I'm really odd. I sit weird in my chair. I change directions in bed all night long. I talk to myself a lot. Is that odd? I think I walk funny and my eyes are beady.

CM: So, then, besides your good looks and charm, why do you think people identify so much with you?

OT: Umm.. besides the beady eyes and funny walk... I think cause we all like the same stuff. Sitting around and watching dumb stuff on TV and thinking about stuff and stuff.

CM: Has the media attention had any fringe benefits? You know, like groupies or jumping the line at Spa or a good table at Taco Bell?

OT: Actually someone sent me some free chalupa coupons for Taco Bell so that's a benefit. And I get these special stamps at Subway to save up for a free sandwich. But that's a benefit for everyone I guess. No real changes for me. I just stay inside more than ever.

CM: Someone else took notice, though: According to the New York Times, the Department of Labor is claiming that the $9,000 you got through your tip jar is "wages" and may assess you for the unemployment benefits they paid to you. Have they gotten off your back yet?

OT: I gave them all the documentation they were looking for and haven't heard back. It's a real gray area from a legal standpoint so it might take some time to sort out.

CM: How annoying is that bureaucracy, anyway? Did you get the one lady who refuses to answer your questions? I hate that!

OT: They were kind of cool. The guy was a fan of the site and I got the feeling he felt bad about blowing the whistle. But after the NY Times article I think they're mad at me cause they think I went and cried to the press. But that's just me reading into it…

CM: How long, exactly, have you been unemployed? Had you had any job offers?

OT: Since June [of 2001]. I've had a couple freelance gigs that have kept me busy. I'm trying to avoid going back into sales if I can. I was no good at it anyway.

CM: New York is such a work-oriented place. Has being laid off changed your perspective on life any?

OT: Not really sure. I have a bunch of friends laid-off so there's a lot of company. The vibe changed since 9/11 so it's hard to tell what effects being laid-off has had.

CM: I believe it was Sartre who said, "The Protestant work ethic sucks moose gonads." Do you agree or disagree with the famous dead French guy?

OT: All I know is my work ethic sucks. I'm much less productive than I'd like to be. I'm working on getting disciplined about the whole thing. I'm lazy at heart so it goes against my grain.

CM: So, what, exactly, is your attitude about work, then? Necessary evil? Raison d'etre? Exploitation by the capitalist running-dogs?

OT: The only thing that gets me about work sometimes is when people are stuck in jobs they don't like or that are just not right for them. Back in the day people seemed more inclined to do what they were attracted to. Now it's like you fall into a career sometimes based on your first job. Also I think everyone is underpaid except for the top-tier who are disgustingly overpaid.

CM: Do you think that the corporate class structure and the way companies treat their employees is inherently dehumanizing?

OT: Well it seems somehow the people that rise to the top are people that you look at and wonder how the hell they got there. They usually seem real dumb. That in and of itself is frustrating… but I wouldn't say "dehumanizing."

CM: Could you describe your ideal job for us?

OT: Massagegetter/videogametester/moviescreener/icecreameater.

CM: Think fast: Why aren't white-collar workers unionized?

OT: Because of the color of the collar?

CM: Hmmmn. OK, my job is "going away" in a few weeks. What advice do you have for my upcoming period of unemployed-ness? Would selling my body fluids or organs for extra cash be a valid option?

OT: I think you can get some nice dollars for blood and sperm. Beyond that, I would avoid selling too much. You could end up one of those people sitting in a tub of ice and missing a kidney.

CM: What do your family and friends and parents think about the phenomenon that is

OT: Not sure if it's really a phenomenon. But people are psyched about it, it seems. My parents help me find good news everyday which is a big help.

CM: Head-shaving: fashion statement or lifestyle choice?

OT: I'm losing my hair (totally sucks by the way) and I razor it really short. It's just out of convenience really. If I got it 'cut' I'd be at the barber shop every week.

CM: Besides hair-growing, do you have any superpowers? If yes, what are they? If no, what superpowers would you like to have?

OT: I can eat two rows of fudge stripe cookies without a problem. That's about it. I think Spiderman has cool superpowers. Invisibility would be cool for screwing around and pretending you're a ghost. And flying, of course would rule considering I live on a five-flight walkup.

CM: Are you more Ron Livingston in "Office Space," or Ed Norton in "Fight Club"? Who would you pick to play you in "Odd Todd: The Motion Picture"?

OT: I think Ron. I wear flip-flops. Ed Norton had the catalog thing going on with the stuff. I'm not too concerned where the wood is from... but I did totally clean it up at least.

CM: Speaking of "Fight Club," who would win in a fight: You or "Dilbert" creator Scott Adams?

OT: Scott Adams. He has sharp pencils. I work with computer stuff, which is all pretty dull, physically.

CM: Why don't we all have enormous cool apartments, like on "Friends"?

OT: We all do! They're just a lot smaller. Without terraces. Without a great view. And colors. And big bedrooms. And way comfy furniture. And cool stuff. And hot chicks walking around in them…




Laid off or just laid back? Send us e-mail at


Posted April 1, 2002 5:53 AM






Copyright 2001-2010
Powered by
Movable Type 3.33
Logo design by Molitorious